


Give up what's most important

by LeDiz



Series: The 48: Cardcaptor Sakura [3]
Category: Cardcaptor Sakura
Genre: F/M, Kinda, Magic Theory, Original villain - Freeform, Post-Series, Unfinished, love and angst, moon magic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-13
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-08-08 12:03:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7757158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeDiz/pseuds/LeDiz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Syaoran teaches the group more about different kinds of magic, a new girl appears at school to make Tomoyo worried for Sakura. Only the girls aren't the target.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Over the years, Syaoran had gotten very good at deciphering screams.

In Hong Kong, he usually heard them when he was saving people from vengeful spirits and demons. He had a scale of surprise to death. There were also his sisters’ screams, but that was a scale of cute to ‘force Syaoran into a sport uniform and get him to throw a ball through the guy’s window so we have an excuse to talk to him’.

One of the reasons he liked Japan (aside from, well, Sakura) was that the screams tended to be less fear inducing. They were more often the standard screams that came from girls being girls or magic exploding (usually harmlessly) in someone’s face.

So when Syaoran was doing the dishes after lunch and Tomoyo screamed, his first thought after scrambling to catch the plate he’d thrown out of shock was that she must have found that photo he and Sakura had taken after the paintball match. They’d both been in old, ratty clothing, covered in paint and sweat, and Syaoran doubted even Sakura’s broad grin would let Tomoyo forgive that. He cringed, but just in case, called out, “You okay?”

She didn’t answer, and Syaoran frowned, setting the plate into the drying rack. He picked up a towel and wiped his hands as he walked into the living area, instinctively checking that the mountain of homework they’d been doing together was still all in one piece. That thought reassured, he continued over to where Tomoyo was standing near the cabinet, gazing at the floor with her hands pressed to her mouth.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, then gasped as she flung herself into his arms.

“I’m so sorry!” she cried. “I was just looking at it, but then the mirror behind the glass – it winked at me! It surprised me!”

“M- mirror…?” He looked at the cabinet, then frowned at the mirror still safely sealed inside. His reflection waved back, and he sighed, resting his hands on her shoulders. “It’s a cursed scrying mirror. Sorry, I should have warned you about this cabinet.”

“No, that’s not it,” she said, and pulled back, her eyes full of tears. “Li-kun, I’m sorry, I… I dropped it.”

“The mirror?”

“Your Rashinban!”

He blinked, then looked down at the floor. Sure enough, half-hidden under the cabinet, the Rashinban was on the floor. In three pieces. “Oh.”

“I’m sorry!” she said again. “I know I could never make it up to you!”

He glanced at her from under his hair. “It’s fine, Daidouji.”

“I know it’s not! Oh, dear, something terrible isn’t going to happen, is it?” she asked, pressing her hand to her mouth again. “The magic energy won’t hurt anything will it?”

 “No. It’s just a compass.”

“I’m sorry, Li-kun!”

“Daidouji,” he said again, louder. “It’s really fine. It’s useless now anyway, since the Clow Cards are gone.”

“But it’s an heirloom,” she said, as they knelt down over the board. “I really am so sorry, Li-kun.”

He looked at her again, then shook his head wearily. “If it will stop you worrying…” He reached out with both hands, and Tomoyo gasped as his magic circle appeared around them, glowing green for two seconds before it vanished again. She continued staring around for a moment, until Syaoran abruptly lifted his hand, the whole, untarnished Rashinban in his grasp.

“It’s been in our family for generations, and I was a ten year old that carried it everywhere,” he pointed out. “It’s been broken before.”

She just stared at it, open-mouthed. “You can fix it?”

“I can fix things,” he acknowledged, and stood back up, holding out a hand to help her up. “It’s dirty magic, but it can be useful.”

“Dirty magic?” she asked, and gently took the board from him, turning it over in her hands in search of some sign it had ever been damaged. “It’s amazing. I always wondered why it looked in such good condition when it was so old…”

“Oh, that’s not my magic. The magic of the board itself keeps it safe from time,” he said, and leaned against the cabinet, folding his arms over his waist. “This kind of magic can only use the materials available at the time. If you had picked up the three pieces and brought them into the kitchen, you would have left some of the wood dust behind and it wouldn’t have healed completely. You’d see a scar.”

She looked at him curiously, and he blushed slightly, shrugging one shoulder.

“Well, actually, I would have sacrificed part of a wooden spoon to make do, but still, you know?”

“It sounds like alchemy,” she said thoughtfully. “Magical chemistry.”

“Kind of.”

She paused, wondering at the reluctance in his tone, then inwardly shrugged and set the board back in the cabinet where she’d found it, propped up in a stand. They both looked at it for a moment, before Syaoran took a sharp breath and pushed off the cabinet. “I need to get back to the dishes.”

“I’ll help this time.”

“Whatever you like.”

 

* * *

 

Syaoran wasn’t in their class, these days, which was a bit of a shame. Not that he’d spent much time with them in elementary school classes, but toward the end it had been comforting to know he was there, watching over them.

And it had been fun to watch him panic over test results and final reports.

But they did still see him at lunch times, whether it was because the three of them decided to eat together or the boys in his class managed to convince Syaoran to play a game with them. Usually Sakura and Tomoyo sat and chatted with the girls that always cheered on the sidelines, which was how they heard about Bani.

“Ugh. She’s new, but she’s already acting like she’s something special,” Haruko, one of the girls in Syaoran’s class, said irritably. “Just because the boys are all falling all over her.”

“The boys?” Tomoyo asked with a smile.

“She’s like, ridiculously cute, and really good at things like Home Ec’, and music… the boys are all trying to impress her,” she said. “Even the ones that aren’t normally into that. You should watch out, Kinomoto.”

Sakura blinked. “Me?”

“Oh, are we talking about Bani Suzaku?” another girl, Komiko, asked as she sat down beside them. “I so can’t stand her. Going after Li? So low.”

“Hoe?”

“What do you mean, going after Li-kun?” asked Tomoyo, and the girls exchanged worried glances.

“I’m not sure if we should tell you. I mean, we don’t want to worry you or anything…”

“Yeah, I mean, Li’s like, the most devoted guy I’ve ever seen. He’s the last person I’d expect to fall for her tricks, it’s just…” Haruko grimaced. “It’s pretty obvious she likes him. And I think she’s being like, really forward, or something.”

“Yeah, did you see how he blushed when she talked to him this morning?” Komiko asked her, then shook her head in disbelief. “He was like a fire engine. She must have said something really out there, to make a guy like Li blush.”

“Not necessarily,” Tomoyo said with a laugh, but she looked at Sakura, who frowned, turning her attention to the soccer field.

It was true, Syaoran blushed at the drop of a hat, but only when he was around people he liked, or when they complimented him about something that wasn’t something he’d trained in, which essentially limited it to his personality. Since he didn’t usually _let_ people see his personality…

Things got worse when he came to collect Sakura after school. They were talking, discussing dinner and the shopping Syaoran had to do, when a very, very pretty girl walked by the classroom, immediately catching Syaoran’s attention, and then Tomoyo and Sakura’s.

She was tall—taller than any of them—with white-blonde hair and icy blue eyes, and skin even paler than Tomoyo. She noticed Syaoran’s attention and stopped, smiling broadly.

“Li-kun! Are you going home now?”

“Y-yes!” he snapped it off, his entire body stiffening and his speech turning polite. “A-and you, Suzaku-san?”

“Oh, I’m actually on my way to see the music teacher. I’m thinking about joining the choir.”

“R-really?”

Tomoyo’s eyes narrowed, and she turned to face the girl properly, taking a step forward so Syaoran was between herself and Sakura. “Hello. Are you in Li-kun’s class?”

“Oh, yes, I’m Bani Suzaku; I just moved here,” she said brightly. “You must be Tomoyo Daidouji. I’ve heard so much about you.”

“From Li-kun?”

“No,” she said, and met Tomoyo’s gaze evenly, despite her smile. The two girls continued gazing at each other, defying one another to break the gaze or speak next.

Unfortunately, Sakura didn’t give either of them the chance to fail, stepping up beside Tomoyo and folding her hands in front of her skirt. “It’s a pleasure to meet you! I’m Sakura Kinomoto.”

Bani’s gaze cooled slightly as she turned her attention to Sakura, but she still smiled. “Pleasure to meet you. Well! I should get going. See you tomorrow, Li-kun.”

“Yes!” he said, and they watched her go until she was out of sight. Then Tomoyo spun around to stare at Syaoran, and he blinked. “What is it?”

She just gaped at him, and then looked at Sakura. However, far from being upset, Sakura actually giggled and took Syaoran’s hand in both of her own.

“She seems very interesting. Doesn’t she, Syaoran?”

Tomoyo nearly burst into tears.

 

* * *

 

All her life, Tomoyo had been a sweet, respectful, gentle girl, but right now, all she really wanted to do was stamp her feet and scream.

Sakura and Syaoran were walking hand-in-hand, chatting about homework as if there was absolutely nothing wrong, when there was a girl trying to steal Syaoran away and very nearly getting away with it, too!

He had blushed! He had said ‘yes’! He had called her ‘ _san_ ’! Syaoran didn’t even call _her_ ‘san’ and they’d been almost best friends for years!

And Sakura didn’t even seem to care!

“You sure you don’t want me to come with you?”

She quickly looked up to see Syaoran starting to head in another direction. “No, that’s okay. It’s just groceries, and besides…” He glanced at Tomoyo, then shrugged at Sakura. “I’ll see you two tomorrow.”

“Sure! Hey, you wanna have lunch with us?”

He smiled and nodded. “I’ll make something. See you.”

“Bye-bye!”

He turned and walked down the main road, back toward town, and Sakura turned to Tomoyo with a smile. “Wanna have some tea when we get home?”

“Sakura…” she said as they continued into the park. “About earlier…”

“You mean Suzaku-san? She seemed cheerful, huh?”

She frowned, clutching the front of her uniform. “Sakura, I think the other girls were right. I think she might be interested in Li-kun.”

But Sakura just giggled. “It does seem like it! Can’t say I blame her!”

“Sakura!” she said, and reached out to grab Sakura’s hands and stop her from moving forward. “Li-kun… he… he called her ‘san’!”

“I know! Thank goodness, I was really worried for a minute there,” she said, and Tomoyo blinked. Sakura just laughed and tugged her onward. “You know, it’s really strange. Even though I know Syaoran is really cool, and handsome, and a wonderful guy, it never really occurred to me that I might have to fight for him one day. I really wouldn’t have been prepared for it!”

“Wouldn’t…? But… but Li-kun was blushing like –”

“Like he used to around Yukito-san,” Sakura pointed out, and Tomoyo blinked.

Once they were back at Sakura’s house, and they had gathered in Sakura’s room with tea, cakes and Kero, she explained everything a little better. “I noticed it as soon as she looked at you, Tomoyo! Suzaku-san has the same kind of magic power as Yukito-san. Just not quite as strong.”

“The kid’s whole family is obsessed with the reflective side of the moon,” Kero explained, waving his fork like a sword. “So it’s probably just like how he used to get around the Snow Rabbit.”

“But he’s not like that anymore,” Tomoyo said slowly, but Kero just grinned nastily.

“Ah, that’s because he recognises it now. People with power are attracted to power, but they can usually ignore it once they know that’s what’s happening. I hate to admit it, but that kid’s training has gotten him pretty good on that front – most magical power he just recognises straight away,” he said mildly, and scooped a forkful of cake. “But moon power, well, I’m pretty sure that when the moon’s around, that kid stops thinking with his head and starts thinking with his magic. Not that his head was much use to begin with…”

“Kero-chan!” Sakura snapped, but he just grinned and stuffed his face in defence. She huffed at him irritably, but Tomoyo chewed her bottom lip, worried.

“Even so, Sakura, Li-kun was very sure he liked Yukito-san. Aren’t you worried the magic might interfere with how he really feels?”

“Mm-mm. Everything will absolutely be okay!” she said cheerfully. “Syaoran doesn’t talk like that around people he really likes. He’ll notice and everything will be just fine!”

But even so, Tomoyo thought as she raised her tea cup, even if Sakura was right, she sincerely doubted everyone would come out of this unscathed.

 

* * *

 

Over the next few weeks, Tomoyo had to come to grips with the fact that, for the first time in her life, she really, really, _really_ didn’t like someone.

It wasn’t just that Bani was making absolutely no attempt to hide that she was interested in Syaoran, or that he still hadn’t noticed her magical power and was actually starting to get worried about it. It wasn’t just that every time Bani saw Sakura, she had that nasty, aggressive smile that told everyone in the room she thought she was better than her. It wasn’t even that she had joined the choir and was trying to muscle her way into Tomoyo’s lead role.

It was that sometimes, Tomoyo got the distinct impression that Bani was doing all of it to ruin Tomoyo’s life.

Tomoyo didn’t like feeling annoyed. It was unfamiliar and frustrating. It made her dislike Suzaku even more.

“Are you alright, Daidouji?”

She blinked, jerked out of her musings by Syaoran’s voice. She blinked again when she noticed the classroom had emptied around her, and that the room was dim, the sun too low in the sky to reach the classroom anymore. “Oh… dear, I must have been lost in thought.”

Syaoran looked at her quietly for a few moments, then abruptly dragged out the seat in front of her desk and sat on it backwards, folding his arms over the back. Then he met her gaze with that firm, mildly annoyed expression that she knew meant he was worried.

She smiled. “I’m just fine, Li-kun. What are you doing here?”

“I had day duty. I was heading home when I saw you.” He waited a moment, then prompted. “What were you thinking about?”

For a moment, she considered just brushing him off, or lying. She could even just ask him not to ask, because she knew he would respect her wishes. But, almost without noticing, she started to speak. “I don’t really understand magic, sometimes. Sometimes I think all it does is cause problems.”

“Like what?”

“Like… Li-kun…” She hesitated. There was an unspoken agreement that no one would point out Bani’s power, and let Syaoran work it out on his own. “I don’t understand your magic. I don’t understand why you think some magic is dirty, or why you love the moon so much. I don’t understand why you were never attracted to Sakura’s magic. I thought true love was supposed to conquer all, and I thought you and Sakura had true love, but…”

Syaoran frowned, pulling back a little. “That’s not magic. And even if it was, that wouldn’t make it easy.”

“But –”

“Everything comes with a price, Daidouji,” he said, and met her gaze again. “The question is what you’ll pay for the things that are important to you. Like Sakura’s magic. She inherited Clow’s magic, but she pays for that by also inheriting his enemies. Things have been quiet lately, but I know there are more problems out there, waiting to find her.”

“Sakura…”

“Love is exactly the same. I choose to be with Sakura, and for that, I had to give up a lot, and accept the anger of my clan for all but abandoning my duty. But I'll gladly take that, if it means I can be with her,” he said, before his eyes softened, and he ducked his head apologetically. “You did the same. So you could always be with Sakura, you paid the price of never having your love returned, or even acknowledged. It’s a price I wouldn’t pay.”

She blinked at him rapidly, then smiled and lowered her eyes to her hands. To her, it didn’t seem that bad a price. She wasn’t sure when it had started, but she knew she no longer just loved Sakura. She loved Syaoran, too, and never wanted anything to change. She wanted the two of them to live happily ever after, and all she wanted was to be able to be a part of their lives, to see them smile and laugh and…

She took a deep breath, knowing she would never forgive herself for staying quiet, but would definitely be forgiven for not.

“Li-kun, Suzaku-san has the power of the moon,” she said, and he flinched. She looked up at him, and nearly stopped at his wide eyes. But she had already started. Now she had to finish. “You feel all happy and tingly around her, right? It’s because she has the power of the moon, like Yukito-san.”

He just stared at her, then blinked twice and looked down at his arms. Then he closed his eyes, and she recognised the look of a magician searching their feelings. She watched worriedly, never quite sure what to do in these moments, or what she would do if she was wrong. But after almost a whole minute, Syaoran suddenly groaned and let his head drop, hard, onto his arms. “I’m an idiot!”

“Li-kun?”

“I thought I was…! I was about to go to Sakura and confess everything! I thought she was going to throw me out!” he cried, and thumped his head a few times. “Weak, naïve, manipulated _idiot_!”

Really, she should have felt sorry for him, but as it was, all she could feel was relief, and so laughed.

She made it up to him later, buying him a chocolate bar as he walked her home, even though he scowled at her for the offer. “I’m not a child.”

“But sweet things always make you feel better!” she pointed out, not least because pointing out that fact would embarrass him horribly. “Especially chocolate!”

“Shut up!” But he still unwrapped the chocolate and bit into it savagely, glaring at the road ahead. “It was Sakura who told you about Suzaku-san’s magic, right? So she knows?”

“Yes. She thought it was very sweet.”

She hid her laugh at his groan, but couldn’t stop smiling despite his pain. She had been worried, but Syaoran’s reaction to the truth was not only a huge relief but hilarious besides. She loved to watch the oh-so-serious magus reduced to a gawky teenage boy.

They would have walked the whole way in silence, except that Tomoyo delighted in teasing him, and even if she hadn’t, he was groaning and berating himself anyway, so she felt it was justified. But when they reached her house, she lingered at the gate, noticing Syaoran’s thoughtful expression. It didn't take long for him to speak up.

“I could teach you, if you wanted.”

“Hm?”

“Not real magic,” he said quickly. “My family doesn’t do that – teach people without magic how to use it. It’s not right. But I could teach you about it. The different kinds, and the elements and things. Like I taught Mei Ling.”

For a moment, she was nonplussed, not sure where the offer had come from, before she remembered that had been her entry into talking to him this afternoon. Then the offer actually filtered through her confusion, and she realised the possibilities.

She grabbed up his hands and yanked them close to her chest. “May I film it? You simply must let me make you a costume! And you have to let me bring Sakura, too! Her learning face is just so adorable! Oh, can’t you just imagine it? I’ll call it The Mystical Syaoran Li passes on his knowledge, Part One!”

“P-part one?” he asked, staring at her.

“Well, part two will be when you teach your and Sakura’s children, of course!”

“Ch-children?!”

“Yes, I can’t wait to film their sparkling faces!”

“D-Dai-D-”

“On Sunday, okay? We’ll do it at Sakura’s house! Oh, I can’t wait!”

“But…!” He reached out after her, but she was long gone, skipping through the garden and already planning his costume. She did spare a glance over her shoulder though, just in time to catch his resigned slump forward. She grinned and ran for her sketch pad.

 

* * *

 

Syaoran shifted awkwardly, eyeing the camera like it was about to attack. “Why would you film this? It’s not like I’m going to be doing anything that spectacular.”

“Because Sakura’s learning face is so cute!” Tomoyo cried, clasping her hands together. “And I never get the chance to film it in class! How exciting!”

As he always did when Tomoyo went into her sparkling film mode, Syaoran just sighed and moved on. His eyes skirted past Fujitaka’s encouraging smile, lingered on Yue, and then locked onto Touya with a glare. “And why are you here?”

“I can’t learn about magic?” he snapped.

“It’s got nothing to do with you.”

“He’s here for Yukito,” Yue said bluntly, and Syaoran blushed, but left the issue there.

He tried to avoid Fujitaka’s eyes. “I really thought this would be… when I offered, Tomoyo, I thought… I mean, for the others, m-maybe it would be better if Kereberous –”

“It’s not my job to teach anything more than the basics,” Kero said cheerfully, as he and Sakura came in from the kitchen with a tray of drinks. “Sakura is supposed to learn on her own – you’re the one who’s breaking rules here, kid.”

“There’s nothing saying non-naturals can’t learn _about_ magic,” he said, but his eyes still skirted away from Yue. “And I didn’t think…”

“Stop teasing him, Kero-chan,” Sakura said firmly, and smiled at Syaoran. “I can’t wait to hear about all that stuff you’re always reading!”

“Yes!” Tomoyo added as she set up a second camera, this one pointed at the couch Sakura would be sitting on. “Your studies take up so much of your time, Sakura almost never gets to see you! It’s only fair you pay her back with an explanation, which is why I thought we should do this here.”

He grimaced, then cast around for something else, his eyes still refusing to go anywhere near Fujitaka or Yue. They fell on his outfit instead. “So why do I have to wear this? I thought you only made costumes for Sakura.”

“But you’re so handsome! How could I resist making beautiful clothes? And this is a special occasion – you should definitely wear something special for it!” she admonished, and Syaoran sighed, letting his arms drop heavily.

The costume was a robe made of heavy cloth, a deep green with jade highlights and glass gemstones sewn into the golden seams. Although she had intended to make something new, this robe was actually something she’d been working on, on and off, for most of the year. She’d been planning on giving it to him to wear for her mother’s Christmas party, which she was planning to invite him and Sakura to. Seeing it on, she decided it was probably too obviously magic-inspired for that, but it was perfect for this!

Finally, Syaoran had nothing more to distract him, and he had to cave, walking to the centre of the open floor. In preparation for the lesson, they’d pushed all the living room furniture to the sides, including the couches everyone was sitting on, and moved anything breakable out into the kitchen. Not that they expected anything to be in danger of breaking, but just in case.

“Magic,” he began, eyeing off a spot on the wall directly in front of him, “is everywhere.”

The magic circle they so rarely saw burst out on the floor in front of him, and Yue stiffened very slightly. Sakura gasped and clapped her hands, while Tomoyo stood up to get a better angle on it.

“It’s different from Sakura-san’s,” Fujitaka noted. “And not just the design – you have colour instead of just gold.”

“It’s because he’s more elemental,” Kero said with a smirk. “What’s the matter, kid? I thought you were all about the moon – where’s the celestial magic?”

Syaoran flushed, but seemed to be shoving his shame down with determination. “I only promised to teach Daidouji, and I can do that with pen and paper,” he threatened, and Sakura immediately snatched Kero and shoved him down on the couch beside her.

“Sorry, Syaoran! Please continue!”

He hesitated, then nodded once, and the circle turned to gold, and then a dull copper colour. “There are many different kinds of magic, and the oldest magic takes one of two forms: the sun in the west, and the moon in the east.” As he spoke, two of the symbols on his circle glowed gold, and both Sakura and Tomoyo cooed with pleasure as images of the sun and moon appeared near the ceiling. Syaoran scooped his arm upward, and the sun came forward. “Many sorcerers believe the sun has the greatest strength, but the truth is the two are equal. The sun just burns hot and bright, putting out a great deal of power in a short period, while the moon is versatile and long-lasting. The sun generates its own power, while the moon gathers and reflects power released by others.”

“But doesn’t that mean that in a battle between the two, the sun wins by default?” asked Fujitaka. “The moon can’t generate its own power – eventually it would run out.”

Syaoran shook his head, and did a complicated movement with his fingers. As they watched, the sun began to glow brighter. The moon immediately reflected it, shining a beam of light that, coincidentally, fell directly on Yue. The Guardian closed his eyes and took a deep breath, almost soaking it up until Syaoran let the light fade.

“Anything the sun generates, the moon can return,” he said, and then pushed them both aside, back down into the magic circle. In their place, a thousand tiny lights appeared, twinkling down on them all. “The stars are different again. The stars burn with their own power, just as strong as the sun, but they can only been seen under the moon. They respect both but bow to neither.”

“What does that mean in magic terms?” asked Touya, glancing at Sakura.

Syaoran smiled at her softly, his gaze warm. “Quiet power that seems so small, and draws everyone in, but with the strength to watch over and protect everyone.”

She blushed, but smiled back, her gaze just as adoring as his own. The others let them have their moment for a few seconds, before Kero groaned theatrically. “Enough with the sap! Keep going, kid!”

“What do you care? I’m not teaching _you_ ,” he snapped, but tore his gaze away from Sakura to continue. The stars faded, and the colours of his magic circle began to glow again. “Some people are born with that power. The Kinomoto family has the power of the stars, Teacher Mizuki is of the moon… the sun is more common in the West. Clow was highly unusual, as he had both the sun and moon. It made him powerful, but as we know, unstable.

“There are other power sources, of course. Some people are born to the four elements, or the five, or the ten. Fire, earth, wind, water, ice, wood, gold, lightning, darkness and light,” he said, symbols flaring with coloured light as he mentioned their names. “Others have no natural affinities, but follow the rules to cast correctly.”

“Like you?” asked Touya, and Syaoran glared at him until he realised it was an actual question.

“No.”

“The kid’s got natural power,” Kero said, but he was still smirking. “He’s talking about someone with absolutely no magic at all, but who follows the directions. It wouldn’t be reliable or that strong, but pretty much anyone can use magic under the right conditions. The kid’s more of a natural.”

“So what power do you have, Li-kun?” asked Fujitaka. “Being descended from Clow – can you use both sun and moon?”

“Ah, well, actually…” His magic circle faded, and then came back, outlined in just silver light. “Some magicians aren’t born of anything, but channel energy, and give thanks to their patron power. The Li Clan gains their power from the moon’s reflective energies.” He hesitated, blushing slightly as a large, silvery moon appeared above their heads. “That’s why I… have… respect… for Yue. Because he is of the moon – the symbol of my clan’s lineage.”

“And why you were drawn to Yukito,” Yue added, and Syaoran blushed brighter.

“Yes. Though I didn’t know it at the time.” He glared at Touya almost defensively, even though Touya hadn’t spoken or even shifted expressions since his original question. “It had been a long time since my clan had met one of the moon – that side effect had never been recorded.”

Tomoyo giggled, and Sakura folded her arms over the top of her knees, looking at him curiously. “What I never understood though was why you were drawn to Yukito-san and Suzaku-san, but not Teacher Mizuki. She uses moon power, too, right?”

“It’s a different kind of power,” Yue said blandly, and Syaoran nodded, making a sweep with his arm that sent the moon spinning around the edge of his magic circle.

“The moon turns and orbits, but it always has two sides – the light and the dark. Both have power, long lasting and versatile, but they have different affinities.” He stopped the moon spinning, and its light shone down on his audience as he stared at the other side. “My clan serves the reflection, the light in the darkness. For generations, we had no idea there were those who were born of the dark side. But to meet one…”

“Did it feel strange?” asked Tomoyo.

“More like ‘wrong’.” He frowned, still gazing at the darkness. “It was a little like wearing a shoe that’s been worn to someone else’s foot. The size is right, but it feels odd to walk in.”

“Ah, so you thought she was trying to trick you!” Sakura realised. “That’s why you were always so alert around her!”

He nodded once. “Because we were so powerful for so long, a lot of other magic sources avoided the Li Clan. Because of that, a lot of our knowledge was lost. I may be a failure, but my experiences with the Clow Cards have returned some of that knowledge to the Clan,” he said, and didn’t notice the Kinomoto family all look at him oddly, not understanding what could make him a ‘failure’. He was still watching the moon, as he slowly pulled it down and let it fade into the rest of his circle. “I’m learning about the other sources – the sun, the dark moon, the stars… Even dirty magic. That’s why I have to study so much. So I understand all those lost secrets.”

“A worthy goal,” Fujitaka said, and smiled at Syaoran’s surprised glance. “All those secrets, lost to the ages… if I could find them, I would certainly be looking, too.”

He grinned and looked down at the ground, his hair falling forward to hide his eyes.

“You’ve mentioned that before,” Tomoyo said thoughtfully, making him look up again. “Dirty magic. That was how you fixed the rashinban, right?”

“Uh – oh, right,” he said, and then spread his arms, and everyone but Yue and Kero flinched as the living room around them vanished, replaced by a beautiful clearing in a wood, with a stream running directly between Syaoran and the rest of them. “The great magics are the sun, moon and stars, but there is also the dirty magic – the magic of the earth.”

“Terrestrial magic,” Yue said blandly, and Syaoran shrugged.

“Like the stars, earth magic gives respect to the sun and moon, but it exists below them, rather than above. It’s a lesser magic, incapable of creating anything, and reluctant to borrow from others.”

“So how’s it supposed to do anything?” asked Touya.

“It makes do with what’s available,” he said, and flicked his hand. As he did, a stream of water jumped up to hover in front of him, and he reached for the trees, which blew until a handful of leaves ripped from the branches to come to him. He pressed them together with the water, and there was a glow of green light under his fingers. When he pulled them apart, there was a beautiful paper crane in his hands, which he released to fly through the air and land in Sakura’s lap.

“That’s so amazing!” she cried, but Syaoran looked away.

“Not really.”

Kero, however, was looking surprisingly impressed. “For a moon magician, you’re pretty good at that, kid. Even when Clow was around, I only met a couple of druids with that much skill.”

“Druids?” asked Fujitaka. “Like the pagan religion?”

“Ah, kind of,” he said, waving it off. “The terrestrial magicians mostly died out years ago, when technology started taking over.”

“Even if Clow’s day, they were rare. More often healers or farmers that used their magic to grow things,” added Yue. “Those with the power of the earth are practical, honest people. They saw little point in cultivating their magical powers.”

“Not that there would have been much point,” Syaoran said, and pulled the surrounds away, returning them to the living room and making Sakura’s crane fade into a glittering image. “Dirty magic can’t do great things like Celestial magic.”

“I don’t know. It seems much more useful than some of my powers,” Sakura said softly, as the last of the crane faded. “I’d rather be able to grow a tree than steal someone’s voice away.”

Syaoran watched her as his magic circle faded back to its coloured form, and then down into nothing. Sensing the end of the lesson, Touya rolled his eyes and stood up, muttering something about more tea, and Fujitaka smiled fondly before nodding to Syaoran.

“That was very informative. Thank you very much,” he said warmly, and stood up to join Touya. They heard him gently rebuking his son for not saying anything, and Touya replying that it would take a lot more than a light show to make up for being a sister-stealing brat.

Syaoran scowled, but immediately stopped when Sakura jumped up and hugged him tightly. “It was great! Thank you so much, Syaoran! No one’s ever explained it all before!”

Kero waved such a statement off airily. “Learning by doing is a much better method. All this book-style learning is only good for so much!”

“But this was much better than reading a book!” Tomoyo said cheerfully as she switched off her second camera. “The sun and the moon Li-kun made were amazing! And the earth magic bit was beautiful!”

“Oh, well, sure, if you’re into that sort of thing…”

“And you looked so cool and handsome in these robes I made!” she said excitedly, with another panning shot of Sakura and Syaoran. “Look at how the fabric sparkles, ahh, it’s so lovely! And the way it drapes from his shoulders is just divine! Oh, that was wonderful!”

Syaoran and Sakura just stared at her, and then each other, before sharing exasperated sighs. But they didn’t get any further before Yue suddenly stood up and moved to stand over them. They blinked up at him, surprised by his direct focus, but he just stared at Syaoran silently for almost a minute before speaking.

“Why do you dislike terrestrial magic?”

Only Tomoyo, who was watching, noticed Syaoran’s eyes harden slightly. “It’s useless. It died out for a reason.”

“Tch. That’s Li arrogance for you,” Kero noted, and Syaoran stomped his foot, leaning around Sakura to glare.

“Say that again!”

“Just because you guys get all ga-ga over the moon,” he said, and bypassed Yue’s dirty look with a careless shrug. “All you moon types are so uptight. Just because the terrans are honest people that work hard, you pretty little princesses won’t give them the time of day.”

“Pretty little –!”

Yue lifted a hand, crystals glowing in his palm and eyes glinting dangerously. “I would consider my next words carefully, Kereberous.”

“Ah, no, stop!” Sakura cried, lifting her hands to ward off the fight, but Tomoyo laughed.

“You shouldn’t ruin your own arguments, Kero-chan!” she said. “Li-kun is one of the most honest and hardworking people I know! He wouldn’t look down on someone for that!”

There was an odd pause as they all stared at her, before Yue and Kero focussed on Syaoran, making him pull back slightly. He blushed, his jaw clenching, before he suddenly yanked away from Sakura and started marching out of the room. “I’m going to get out of these clothes.”

They all watched him stalk up the stairs, but as soon as he was out of sight, Yue’s eyes narrowed, and Kero burst into raucous laughter.

“ _No wonder_ he’s so lame most of the time!”

“It’s hardly amusing, Cereberous,” Yue snapped, but Kero just kept laughing.

“Yes it is! He’s so proud of his heritage! That _moron_!”

Sakura and Tomoyo looked between them, completely lost, before giving up on Kero. “Do you know something, Yue?”

“No. However, I might suspect…” He sighed and set a hand on his hip. “As mentioned, terran magicians were more often farmers and healers. For a clan of warrior mages, such as the Li Family, it was considered a waste of potential. I would not be surprised if such a belief has been passed down throughout the generations.”

“So you think that’s why Li-kun doesn’t like them?” asked Tomoyo. “Because he’s always been taught that they’re weak?”

“No,” Yue said with a heavy breath. “Sakura has shown him that there is more power than the sun and moon can provide. I suspect he believes terran magic is weak because he recognises it in his own skills, and is comparing it unfairly.”

“His own skills?”

The girls exchanged glances, and Sakura frowned, then looked back toward the stairs. “Yue-san,” she said thoughtfully. “Can a person who has the power of one source draw on another?”

“It is a common tactic by those of the moon and earth: redirection of outside powers.”

Kero snorted. “So if, say, someone born to _dirty_ magic wanted to, they _could_ use moon power instead, no problem-o. Y’know. Just _hypothetically speaking_.”

“Sakura-chan… maybe you should go talk to Li-kun,” Tomoyo suggested, lowering her camera to erase the last few minutes of footage. “He’s always embarrassed when he’s been the centre of attention.”

 “M- mm…”

Syaoran had changed in her father’s room, and she could hear him in there now, apparently struggling with the heavy fabric. Sakura hesitated, blushing at the thought of walking in on him changing. They were getting bolder around each other, but… She took a deep breath, knocked twice, and opened the door without bothering to wait for a response.

She had a glimpse of Syaoran’s bare back before he spun around, yelped, and promptly fell over his own feet. She winced as he hit the ground, then entered the room properly and shut the door.

“S-Sakura!” Syaoran objected, blushing as hard as she’d ever seen him.

“It’s okay – I’ve seen you in your swimsuit before, and this is a lot more,” she pointed out, gesturing to the long pants he still wore, and the fact his arms were still covered by the tangled sleeves. He ducked his head but didn’t say anything as she knelt down beside him and started helping him to untangle. “Tomoyo’s clothes are always very nice, and they fit great when they’re on, but they’re not always that easy to get in and out of, are they?”

“N-no…”

After a little while, she realised he hadn’t undone the cuffs before trying to take off the robe, and so set about doing that. She didn’t meet his gaze as she asked, “Have you ever met anyone who uses the power of the earth?”

He flinched, then ducked his head. “No.”

“So you don’t really know they’re weak,” she pointed out gently. “You used to think I was weak too, remember?”

“It’s not the same,” he said. “Besides, I never said they were weak. It’s just dirty.”

“What do you mean?”

He waited as she finished untying his cuffs and pulled his shirt free, then pushed his hands down between his knees and looked off to the side. “It can’t make anything. It can only use the materials around it, and they have to be real materials, not like my enchantments.” He reached into the waistband of his pants and pulled out the slim belt of magic items he always carried. Sakura was always amazed by that belt – a single strip of leather that was hung like a charm bracelet with dozens of collapsed magical items that Syaoran almost never used, but might, one day. He unhooked one of the ones she’d never seen opened and held it across his palm. “This is a temporal measure. With things like this, under the power of the moon, I can do anything with enough training. If I study hard enough, one day I may be able to move time itself.”

“Like the Time card?”

He nodded, his smile determined. “I’m going to wield that power again.”

“Why?”

He stopped, then blinked at her. She just gave him a blank look. “There are some cards I use all the time, you know. I use Bubble almost every week – every time Kero-chan needs a bath. And in battle, there’s Fly, Jump, Shield and Sword, and the elements. But the only time I’ve used Time and the Return are… well, mostly to give them some exercise,” she pointed out, and then tilted her head. “Why would you want to stop time?”

 “I – that is – because – I –”

She turned her head slightly, patiently waiting, and he scratched the back of his neck with a pained grimace. She raised her eyebrows in quiet point. “Because it’s impressive?” she asked. “Because you want power?”

He blushed and looked away again, and she sighed, shifting around to sit beside him. It wasn’t that Syaoran was power-hungry, but he did sometimes get the idea in his head that he just needed to be stronger for the sake of being stronger. Tomoyo thought it might have something to do with his family, and whatever it was he was doing in Hong Kong for the two years before he returned. When Sakura thought about it—really thought about it—she thought that was probably true. Syaoran never got more defensive than when someone questioned the strength of the Li Clan or their magic abilities.

She curled around his arm and set her chin on his shoulder, watching his pleased blush in profile. “You always talk about how great the Cards are, and everything they can do. But I think it’s really great how you can summon fire and water. How fast you can do it. And how you can make them really small, or do exactly what you want.”

He looked at her sideways, and she smiled, tightening her hold a little. “I know you like big, flashy things. But your magic is like you, Syaoran. And what I like best about you is all the little things you do every day. Always being there, and saying the right things, and listening. Like today. You probably don’t think what you did for Tomoyo and my family today was that special, but it really, really helped them out. You never think what you do is important, but it really is.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, just searching her expression for something he didn’t eventually find. But he did smile, and then pulled his arm out of her grasp just enough to twist around and kiss her softly. She tried not to giggle into it, because he always took it the wrong way, despite the fact it was just because Syaoran’s kisses always made her feel floaty and hanyan in a way nothing else did. When he pulled back again, it was just to rest their foreheads together. “Thank you, Sakura.”

She just smiled and leaned up to kiss him again.


	2. Chapter 2

If there was one thing Syaoran knew about himself, it was that he didn’t like to mince words. He hated it when people misunderstood things, or made assumptions. The only thing he’d ever let drag on was admitting his feelings for Sakura, and he still argued that he’d had good reasons for not telling her for a very long time.

So he felt it would make him a hypocrite not to be direct with Bani. On Monday morning, he stopped by Sakura’s classroom and told her he’d be explaining things to Suzaku today – she offered to come with him, but honestly, he thought that might just make things more awkward.

He asked her up to the roof during study hall, and on the way up, started kicking himself for not noticing her power earlier. Now it had been pointed out, it was like she was this huge, shining beacon of moon energy, reflecting every power source around her in a constant stream of beautiful light.

It really was wonderful, but… but it wasn’t love.

“What’s the matter, Li-kun?” she asked, once he’d checked they were alone. “Is there anything I could help you with?”

“You have magic power,” he said bluntly, and she blinked, then nodded.

“Yes. Just like you, I serve under the moon.”

“Not just like me,” he said. “I worship it, and channel power from it. You were born under the moon.”

She just smiled and folded her hands behind herself. “You know, if I didn’t know what you meant, I’d think you were coming onto me, Li-kun. You worship me?”

He blushed, then grimaced and shook his head. “N-no! Well, it – it does mean… Suzaku-san, you might know this already, but those of us with magical power are attracted to others like us. And people like me, who channel from the moon, are especially… I wanted to be near your power, and because I didn’t notice you had magic power, I thought that meant I had feelings for you,” he said firmly, and dropped into a short bow. “I’m sorry if I gave that impression. It was just magic, but that doesn’t forgive my actions. I’m sorry if I led you on.”

For a moment, she didn’t speak, and when he looked up, it was to find her still smiling, though there was a glint in her eye he wasn’t sure he liked.

“You sound like you thought you were confused before.”

“I was,” he said.

She turned her head slightly. “I think you’re confused now.”

“What?”

“Li-kun, magic does what it does for a reason,” she said, and began walking slowly toward him. “You’re attracted to power because you’re supposed to have it. I know you gave up a lot of power to be here, in Japan. But that doesn’t mean your magic is content with its lot.”

He frowned, backing up to keep some distance between them. “I didn’t come here for magic.”

“Sure you did. You just got distracted along the way.”

“Wha-” He flinched as his back hit the fence, and pressed back into it as she continued moving forward. She finally stopped when there was only a few centimetres of space between them, and her height combined with the power of the moon made Syaoran slump slightly, gazing up at her with wide eyes. Maybe he _should_ have brought Sakura…

“You’re neglecting your magic, Li-sama,” she said softly, “because she has you under her sway.”

“What – no!” he cried, but his attempt to slide away from her was stopped when she put out both hands on either side of his shoulders. He grimaced again, chivalry and her power making him reluctant to shove her aside. “Suzaku-san, I love Sakura. I came here to be with her, and I gladly take the consequences. I don’t care about the magic, I care about _her_.”

She narrowed her eyes, and he had a sudden flash of a girl, maybe nine years old. One of Mei Ling’s friends from when they were small. Only that girl had been red-haired, and never smiled. And she was back in Hong Kong. He blinked rapidly, confused by the memory, as she hissed, “It’s time someone did something about that.”

For the life of him, he couldn’t remember what happened after that.

They walked through the corridors in companionable silence, right up until they reached the classroom. Bani paused at the door and looked at him, surprised that he hadn’t reached for it first. “Aren’t you coming in?”

“No,” he said vaguely. “I think I’m going to go home.”

“School’s not done for hours yet,” she pointed out, and he shook his head.

“It’s just grammar and history,” he said, and wandered away, down to the main stairwell. He wasn’t entirely sure where he was going, or why, but he knew he didn’t really want to be in class anymore. He had things to think about. He had to call his mother. Ask her forgiveness, maybe. He hadn’t spoken to her since leaving Hong Kong. His sisters all assured him she wasn’t mad, but he had to know for sure.

“Ah – Li-kun!”

He stopped, suddenly realising he was at the shops near Penguin Park, and looked around. Yukito grinned at him, but his smile quickly faded, and he rushed over to press a hand against Syaoran's forehead. “Are you alright?”

“What do you mean? I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. You look like you haven’t slept in a week!” he said, and shifted his hand to his cheek instead. “You don’t have a fever… did something happen last night? Is Sakura-chan alright?”

He blinked, thinking back to when he’d seen her that morning. “Of course. Why wouldn’t she be?”

Yukito just stared at him worriedly, then asked, “Why are you out of school, Li-kun?”

“I don’t need to be there,” he said blankly, and pulled out of his grasp, turning back down the street. He couldn’t waste time here – he had to check how things were at home. “I’m sorry, but I have to go.”

“Hey, hold on a minute!” Yukito called, and tried to snatch his arm, but Syaoran dodged him and started running. He had to get off the streets, at least – get somewhere he could call home and talk openly, about everything, without the risk of anyone normal overhearing. “Li-kun!”

He didn’t stop.

 

* * *

 

He ignored the doorbell, and his mobile phone, just staring at the magic items spread out in front of him.

The jian he’d won by right of combat. The enchantments he wrote and prayed over. The robes his mother had gifted him. His beads, the compasses, the cards and tools…

“Syaoran!” Sakura’s voice. He looked up at the door but didn’t rise. “Syaoran, are you in there? If you can hear me, please open the door!”

He hesitated another moment, then stood up and walked over to open the door. At first, Sakura, and Tomoyo behind her, looked relieved, but after less than a second, Tomoyo frowned and Sakura gasped, pushing her way into the apartment to stand close to him. “Syaoran? What’s wrong? Are you sick?”

“I’m fine,” he said, stepping away from her and back up into the house. “Come in… Do you want tea?”

“I’ll make it,” Tomoyo said as she followed Sakura in, both girls watching him intently. “You go sit down.”

“Why? You’re a guest,” he said, but Sakura didn’t give him any more time to argue, forcefully pushing him into the living room. She paused at the sight of it – he’d moved the couches and table aside to make room for all his tools, arranged according to element with his sword and robe on the centre.

“Syaoran, what are you doing?”

“Meditating. I’ve been thinking,” he said, and frowned as she left his side to pull one of the couches around where she could push him down onto it.

“Yukito-san said he saw you this afternoon,” she said, pressing a hand to his cheek and then neck. “Have you been meditating all this time?”

“I called Mother first. Would you please stop that?” he asked, and she obediently stopped trying to check his temperature.

“You called your mother? Why? Is something wrong?”

He felt a sudden spike of annoyance. “No. I just wanted to speak to her. Can’t I speak to my mother?”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that, it’s just… you haven’t, for a while,” she said, and tilted her head like she needed to get a better look at his face. “What did she say?”

“That I should follow what’s most important to me, never mind the past or future,” he said, his eyes rolling back to the magic tools. “I need to do what I believe I need to do.”

“And so, you’ve been meditating since then? About what’s important?”

He nodded. “It’s not an easy choice.”

“Syaoran…”

He glanced at her sideways, pulling back slightly under her concerned gaze. “What? You’re looking at me funny.”

“Nothing,” she said quietly. “But you really don’t look well.”

“I’m fine,” he said, and turned back to his tools. “I just need some time to think.”

 

* * *

 

Syaoran didn’t get better with time to think.

“He wasn’t in school again today,” Tomoyo said as they gazed up at Syaoran’s apartment.

They had stopped by Sakura’s house to pick up Kero, thinking that his arcane knowledge could at least reassure them that whatever had suddenly hit Syaoran at lunch was just a virus or something. They’d run into Touya and Yukito by coincidence on the way there, and Yukito had decided to come along, citing Yue’s concern. Predictably, Touya had followed, grumbling the whole way.

“I’m worried,” Sakura said softly. “I’m worried something happened when he spoke to Suzaku-san.”

“Suzaku…?” Touya repeated. “You guys mentioned that name on Sunday.”

“The moon magic user Li-kun was confused over,” added Yukito. “Why was he talking to her?”

“He wanted to apologise,” explained Tomoyo, “in case she thought he was leading her on or anything.”

“Kid’s too honest for his own good. She probably got mad and put a curse on him,” Kero said with a smirk. “That’s what these moon types do, y’know, when they’re jealous.”

Yukito flinched, blinking at him, and Sakura glared. “That’s mean, Kero-chan! Take it back.”

He grinned and didn’t bother, looking up at the apartment. “Well, anyway, I guess we better go up and make sure the brat’s still alive.”

“ _Kero-chan_!”

Since there was no one around to let them into the building, Sakura buzzed the intercom, and frowned when there was no answering click. Touya leaned over her shoulder to look at the blank screen. “Not home, maybe?”

“I’ll go check,” Kero volunteered, and they all spun around at a flash of light.

“Me too,” Yue said without preamble, leaping into the air after Kero.

Touya sighed. “I really wish he’d go back to warning us when he was going to do that.”

Sakura had to laugh weakly, but went back to pressing the intercom again. When there was still no answer, she instead pressed for one of his neighbours. There was an answer this time, from Mrs. Takashi, a young mother that Syaoran sometimes helped out.

“Ah, Sakura-chan! Press the wrong button, did you?”

“Oh, um, no! Sorry to bother you,” she said, “but it seems Syaoran isn’t answering.”

“Really? I could have sworn he was home. Come to think of it, I don’t think I even heard him leave for school,” she said, and touched her cheek with one finger. “I’ll buzz you in. I know he ignores the buzzer sometimes, but maybe he’ll answer the door.”

“Thank you!” she said, and the screen went black while the sliding door opened. They were about to head in when Kero suddenly rushed back down.

“We’ve got a problem!”

By the time they got upstairs, Yue had smashed in the sliding door from the balcony and opened the front door, but hadn’t waited for them. He was kneeling wingless in the door to the kitchen, and when they gathered around, it was to see him holding a barely conscious Syaoran up by the shoulders.

Sakura bit back a scream and jumped around to kneel on his other side, pressing her hands to his deathly-pale cheeks. “Syaoran! Syaoran, answer me! Syaoran!”

“S-Sakura…” he breathed. “What are… you all…?”

“What the hell…?” Touya stared around the normally spotless apartment, as the magical artefacts now lying about in obsessively perfect octagons. Even he, who had never trained in magic and long since given up his powers, knew this was a bad sign.

Tomoyo crouched down beside Yue, and Kero flew in to hover directly in front of Syaoran’s face, one paw extended to sense his aura. He swore and yanked back. “It really _is_ a curse!”

“What?!”

“It’s a _spell_ , you melodramatic plush toy,” Yue said coldly.

“Whatever you call it, the result’s the same!” he cried, and then went back to staring at Syaoran. “Kid…”

“What’s going on? What are you two talking about?” Sakura demanded. “What’s happening to Syaoran?!”

Yue looked at her directly, his eyes hard and narrow. “You remember the disaster that could have befallen the world, had you failed my judgement? Or the sacrifice that should have been made for the Nothing card?”

“What?!”

“Someone is attempting to remove his most important feeling,” he said quietly. “His love for you, Sakura.”

Tomoyo gasped, clapping her hands to her mouth, and Sakura looked back at Syaoran desperately. “Again…?”

“But the kid’s love has really become part of who he is,” Kero said breathlessly. “It’s why he’s done most of what he’s done since even before the final judgement. Take that away, and you have to change a lot of what makes him who he is.”

“So what does that mean?” asked Tomoyo. “If his love is taken away, and he changes, then what does that mean?”

“Who knows?” He shook his head. “With an ordinary magician, I’d say he’d probably just go back to the kind of person he was before he came here.”

“An ordinary magician?” asked Touya.

“This boy is far stronger than most. Far stronger than his use of moon magic allows him to display,” Yue said, glancing back at him. “That is why he has been able to fight the spell for so long. Even advanced magicians would have been completely changed within twelve hours.”

Kero extended his paw back toward Syaoran, feeling out the energies and changes. “With someone of the kid’s level, there’s no telling what this would do. The strain he’s putting into resisting it, and how little he fights with instinct… this kind of damage could scar pretty bad.”

Tomoyo stumbled back against the wall, her eyes wide. “…a price he’s glad to pay… No!”

“I don’t… care about… scars,” Syaoran panted, and they all looked at him as he forced his head up, peering at Tomoyo through sweaty bangs. “This was… this was the path I chose…”

“Forget scars!” Kero yelled, swiping his paw through the air. “This magic was specifically made to target _you_ , kid! You can’t beat this!”

“I wasn’t supposed… to do… a lot of things. I wasn’t supposed to… have… any feelings… after the Nothing…” He tilted his head to Sakura, smiling weakly. “An extra three years… was good to have.”

“Syaoran…!” Sakura shoved Kero out of the way to wrap her arms around his neck, holding him tightly for a second before pulling just enough to kiss him hard. She met his gaze with a determined glare. “Everything… everything will absolutely be alright!”

“Sakura…”

She got to her feet, snatching her key over her head and beginning her chant before she’d even straightened. “O magical key that hides the power of the stars! I command you, under your contract with I, your mistress Sakura, _release_!” She didn’t even wait for it to finish growing before snatching out a card and flinging it toward Syaoran. “Stop this spell from taking that which I hold dear, protect our most important feelings! _HOPE_!”

The card exploded, and even Yue had to yank himself out of the way as the Hope materialised around Syaoran, curling her arms and wings around him before dissolving in a tight green shield. He gasped down a breath like he was drowning, then fell forward without a sound. Sakura almost dropped her wand. “Syaoran!”

Tomoyo hurried back to his side and lay her hand in front of his mouth before letting out a relieved sigh. “It’s alright. He’s sleeping.”

“But the spell’s still there,” said Yue. “The Hope gives him more time to fight it. And do damage to himself. It won’t dispel this.”

“To do that, we’d have to find the one who cast it,” Kero agreed. “My guess would be that Suzaku person you guys were talking about.”

“I’ll find her,” Sakura snapped, glaring down at Syaoran’s sleeping face. “I’ll never forgive her!”

“That’s fine, but aren’t you forgetting something?”

They all looked up at Touya as he stepped over Tomoyo and Yue to reach down and start picking Syaoran up. He met his sister’s furious gaze evenly. “The only one of you with any power to find people is this kid. Do you even know where she lives?”

“I…!”

“And anyway, it’s not like she’s the only one with an interest in him forgetting you.”

“Yeah, but you can’t do anything like this,” Kero said, and Touya rolled his eyes.

“I meant someone with magic. Where’s the kid’s bedroom?”

“Down the hall,” Tomoyo said weakly, and he nodded, crossing the kitchen to head into the hallway, down to Syaoran’s room, where he set him on the bed before turning to meet Sakura’s stare again.

“Didn’t you say the kid was supposed to be a big deal in Hong Kong? What about that creepy woman we met? The one he didn’t move around?”

“Syaoran’s mother?!” Sakura cried. “She wouldn’t…!” But her thoughts trailed away without her intention, to a memory of an eleven year old Syaoran talking to their Japanese teacher after a grammar test.

“ _Please, let me take it again! New questions, harder ones, that’s fine, just give me a chance to do better!_ ”

“ _Calm down, Li-kun, you don’t need a do-over,_ ” she’d said with a laugh. “ _I’m not supposed to give out grades before I finished marking them all, but if it’ll calm you down, you got a sixty-two! You’re –_ ”

“Sixty?!”

“ _That’s better than I did last time_ ,” Sakura had grumbled to Tomoyo, where they were watching from down the hall. “ _And he says he has such trouble with kanji, too._ ”

“ _Please, teacher!_ ” he’d cried, and dropped into a bow from the hips. “ _Please, grant me a do-over!_ ”

“ _Don’t be ridiculous, Li-kun. If you’re that worried, just study harder for the next one!_ ”

He’d very nearly reached out to stop her from going into the staff room, but kept his hand back at the last minute, and instead stared into space directly in front of him. “ _What am I going to tell her…?_ ”

At the time, Sakura and Tomoyo had exchanged glances, completely nonplussed. Now, Sakura turned on her heel and stalked out of the room, back to the living room and phone.

 

* * *

 

“This is Syaoran’s final test.”

“What did you say?!”

“If he is so sure of his love for you,” Yelan said coolly, “then no spell will be able to remove it. But, if it is just a passing infatuation –”

“That’s impossible!” Sakura yelled. “After all we’ve been through – all these years – how could you –”

“A passing infatuation, the love of a twelve year old boy, captured in time by the magic of Clow Reed and the one who inherited his magic,” she said, and Sakura froze, gripping the phone so hard she felt the plastic creak.

“What are you saying?”

“That is what many of the Li Clan believe, Sakura Kinomoto. When Syaoran offered up his love for you against the Nothing card, your magic interfered and changed the circumstances. What should have happened didn’t. Many in our family believe that in doing so, you also forced those feelings back on Syaoran.”

“I would never do that!” she cried. “The Hope doesn’t work that way!”

“But you acknowledge it was that event that led Syaoran to the decision to return to Japan. To abandon his position here in favour of you,” she pointed out. “To those who believe this was not his own decision, what is happening now is a kind of justice. Bao Zhai Suyin is correcting a wrong against our family, and restoring the rightful heir to the Li Clan.”

“Bao Zhai? It wasn’t Suzaku-san?”

“Suzaku… ah, so that was the name she took. Yes, Sakura Kinomoto. Bao Zhai knew Syaoran would be suspicious of anyone from Hong Kong, and so disguised herself. You suspect correctly.”

“What wrong is she righting?” Sakura demanded, and she swiped at the tears falling down her cheeks. “She’s not even giving him a choice! Yue-san told me! If Syaoran wasn’t so powerful it would have happened straight away! He wouldn’t have even had a chance to fight!”

“A choice? Like you gave him?” she asked evenly. “He chose to give up his love for you, and you didn’t let him. What choice was that?”

Sakura just stared at the space in front of her. “I looked up to you…! I thought you were wonderful! But this… your own son… Syaoran! This isn’t even about me, this will change him completely!”

“Many in my clan would say the same of that which you did to him.”

She slammed the phone down without answering, clenching her teeth and absolutely failing to fight back the sob in her chest. Even Tomoyo’s warm hands on her shoulders felt far away, and she curled in on her wand. “It’s my fault…! Syaoran…!”

“Sakura…”

“He always gives up so much for me… why is it always…?”

“ _Don’t cry!_ ”

The sudden memory, of the dozen times Syaoran had stood in front of her, firm and comforting, warm despite his curt words, brought her up short, and her eyes widened at the vision in front of her now.

“ _Crying won’t do anything. Hurry up and think. How are you going to solve this?_ ”

She tightened her grip on her wand and straightened up, watching the vision as it faded. “That’s right. I won’t give up. I will never give up on Syaoran! Or myself! I’m going to find that girl and make her stop the spell! For sure! Everything will absolutely be alright!”

“Sakura,” Tomoyo breathed, and Sakura spun around, throwing a card out in front of her.

“ _Shadow_! Find the one who cursed Syaoran, wherever her shadow lies!” she cast, and as soon as the darkness vanished, she began sprinting for the shattered balcony door, nodding to Tomoyo as she yanked out another card. “Take care of Syaoran! _Fly_!”

The wings burst out just as she leapt off the balcony, but Tomoyo wasn’t able to run after her before Kero burst into his true form and leapt after her, and Yue appeared in the sky behind them, having jumped from the bedroom window.

“Sakura!”

“We’re coming with you!”

Tomoyo ran out onto the balcony, watching them go with wide eyes, and then looked over to where Touya had followed Yue out, and was now staring after them as well. They exchanged long, amazed gazes for a second, before Touya sighed and set his weight back on his hips.

“I really hope this kid’s worth the effort. Honestly…”

 

* * *

 

Bani made absolutely no attempt to hide, and when Sakura found her, she was waiting patiently in the middle of a field just outside of town. She made a mockery of a bow as Sakura, Kero and Yue landed.

“Mistress of the Clow – wait, no, I’m sorry, it’s just the Cards now, isn’t it? You destroyed the Clow years ago.”

“What did you do to Syaoran?” she demanded.

“Nothing that hadn’t already been done.”

“Liar!”

She flicked her hair over her shoulder and then folded her arms under her chest with a glare. “For generations, the Li Clan was respected throughout all of Asia, descendants of the great Clow, masters of moon magic. And then you came along,” she snapped. “The true Lis may have to respect you, but I have no blood ties to your magic. I am free to call you what you are: thief and murderer of magic!”

“How dare you!” Yue growled, his wings flaring as he moved in front of Sakura.

“We chose her and she won the right to be our mistress!” Kero added furiously. “They became stronger when they became Sakura Cards!”

“Brainwashed fools. I’ll release you from her magic!” she cried, and threw out two slips of paper, but Sakura was faster.

“ _Shield_!”

The paper slammed against the barrier, and the two guardians were able to read the enchantments, Kero whirling around to explain.

“A spell to remove your most important feeling. Like what she did to the brat!”

“I only undid what she did to my master!” Bani yelled, and Sakura shook her head.

“You’re _wrong_!”

“Syaoran Li-sama was the strongest sorcerer our clan had ever seen!” she said, stamping a foot. “He had the potential to change the world! He was supposed to gather the Clow Cards and make the world a better, safer place! You not only took the Cards, you ruined him! You made him weak!”

Sakura could only shake her head harder, gritting her teeth. “You’re wrong, I tell you!”

“He gave up everything because of you! He lost his pride, his family, his birthright and his power!”

“That’s not what happened!”

“What do you know?! What sacrifice have you ever made? But no more! I’ll bring the master back! I’ll fix everything!” She threw out her hands, and a broad silver circle burst out around her, outlining a pattern of a moon surrounded by swirling Chinese symbols. Yue hissed in a breath, his wings spreading further to shield Sakura, and Bani tore an amulet from her neck. Her silver hair turned a dark, shimmering ruby, but the amulet shone brighter. “Cold winds and surging seas, children of the night, come to my aid. _Summon_!”

 

* * *

 

Syaoran, his eyes dull and barely open, sat up, and looked around his room. It was dark, the blinds drawn, and he could hear voices in the kitchen.

He swung his legs off the bed and stood up, his eyebrow twitching at the dream still echoing through his mind. Rather than go into the hallway, he walked out onto the balcony and down to the living room, ignoring the broken glass as he silently walked through the paths of magic items to reach his sword.

He also picked up a heavy charm and raised it to eyelevel, frowning at the brown depths.

One of those useless items his family had never gotten to work properly. His mother had pressed it into his hands once when he was younger, and met his gaze firmly.

“ _You will be the first of our family to use this._ ”

It had felt like a test, but he’d never passed it. Now though, he tucked it into his palm and turned around, heading back out onto the balcony.

“I think we should do something about the gla- _Li-kun_!”

He looked over his shoulder at Tomoyo’s scream, and saw Touya flinch before starting toward him.

“Brat, what are you doing, get down from there!”

He looked down at his feet, balanced on the balcony wall, and then took a step forward.

“ _Li-kun!_ ”

“ _Brat!_ ”

Touya missed his hair by a sliver, but Syaoran just braced himself for the landing, well used to heights. He landed easily, and walked to the garden, only vaguely aware of what he was doing as he stared at the heavy charm.

“How did you do that? Get back up here!”

“Li-kun! Li-kun, stay right there, I’m coming down to get you!”

“Spirits of earth, connected across all things. Take me and guide me to where I need to be,” he whispered, the Chinese slipping out far easier than it ever had when casting spells before. He felt a faint tugging up his legs, and then slipped down and through, to somewhere else.

 

* * *

 

“Dammit, Yue, can’t you do something about this?” Kero demanded, struggling not to slide backwards under the gale-force winds coming from the girl’s direction.

From his place hunched over Sakura, Yue glared back through his wings. “We use the same power source. All I can do is nullify her attacks. _”_

“ _So nullify already_!”

Sakura, on the other hand, was inwardly poring over her cards, trying to think of the best way to deal with this. They were caught in the middle of a roaring storm, wind battering her guardians, and every time she stepped away from them, she was drenched by rain that forced her to the ground. She could use the storm card, or rain, to take control, but the amulet Bani was using felt stronger than those cards. If she was going to beat her, she’d at least need an element-type card. Maybe not one of the four, but at least Wood or Thunder.

The problem was that she couldn’t guarantee Wood wouldn’t lose control under this much water, Thunder would electrify everything, Firey would struggle against this wind, especially with the rain…

It wasn’t that the girl was stronger than her. Sakura was confident that she could defeat her in a way she normally wasn’t. And it was only partly because she refused to lose to anyone who threatened Syaoran. It was just going to be awkward.

That said, every time she looked past Yue’s protective feathers and saw that triumphant smirk, Sakura did get the urge to just use Shot and then go back to Syaoran.

“Alright,” she whispered, pulling out her cards. “Let’s test her strength first, _Storm_!”

Although she had expected it to fail, Storm surged up and around her, shoving back the rain and wrapping it back toward Bani. But even as it happened, Bani thrust the amulet forward again and Storm yelped, pushed backwards under the pressure as lightning erupted in front of it. Yue tsked, his wings flaring now that they didn’t have to shield Sakura so tightly.

“That amulet… the ring she’s wearing, too… and the belt. They’re ancient magic. Made strong from decades of moonshine,” he murmured. “Her own magic isn’t that strong, but she’s using powerful materials.”

“Like the kid does,” Kero noted, dropping back to hover over them. “They’re easy to underestimate.”

“She’s slower than that boy, though,” he added. “The moon and sun cast slower than the stars and earth. You have advantage there, Sakura.”

“I don’t _need_ speed against her,” Sakura said furiously, holding up Windy. She began to cast, but an odd feeling under her feet made her stop, and then look around.

Something was rising out of the grass just outside the storm, its soft green light shining through the storm. It wasn’t warm or gentle, but the feel of it made Sakura feel instantly calmer and safer, and she found herself lowering Windy, just watching.

Somehow, she wasn’t at all surprised when the light faded and Syaoran opened his eyes to meet her gaze. He smiled at her before looking toward Bani.

“S-Syaoran Li-sama!”

His eyebrow ticked. “That hair… I know you, don’t I? Not Suzaku, but…”

“That’s Syaoran Li-sama!” Bani said, nodding. “I knew that once I removed her spell you would know me! Bhao Zhai Suyin!”

His eyebrow ticked again. “Suyin. You did this. Why? You’re not even a true Li.”

“We are part of the Clan, though. _Your_ clan,” she said, spreading the hand that didn’t hold her amulet toward him. “We need you. Especially now that she destroyed the Clow – we need your strength so that we can move past this. So we can go back to how we should be, serving under the moon and developing our true power. With you, we could forget the Clow and become strong! Syaoran Li-sama!”

“You want to forget the Clow?” he asked, glancing at Sakura. “That’s why you wanted me to forget her?”

“Yes!”

“Then why are you speaking the language we use to honour him?” he demanded, and the girl flinched, her storm fading as she gaped at him. Sakura blinked too, and Kero hummed.

“You know, I never thought about that. Why do you guys all speak such good Japanese? You even have an accent when you speak in Chinese. And your English is stilted.”

Syaoran nodded. “We learn Japanese first as a sign of deference to our strongest ancestor. So if you really want me to forget Clow, Suyin, speak in –” He abruptly switched languages, and Sakura blushed despite herself.

She suddenly decided she liked it when he spoke other languages.

Her guardians looked at her for a moment, nonplussed, before Kero realised what she was thinking and sighed. “The Voice, Sakura. This isn’t the time to go all girly. It should be able to translate.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, sure,” she said, pulling out the card.

By the time she had cast the spell and worked out how to use it, Syaoran was casting a spell she’d never seen before. “Spirits of air, watchful guardians, shield me from the higher power while you can.”

Storm wailed again as it was pushed higher into the sky, even the rain harmlessly falling from an invisible field, and though the wind had definitely picked up, it was swirling in a broad cone around the field, harmlessly making their hair and clothing flap but nothing else.

“Wh-what is this spell, Syaoran Li-sama?” Bani asked quietly, and Syaoran scowled.

“Stop calling me that, Suyin. I may have fallen from grace, but _no one_ calls me by my given name. Not even in full,” he snapped, and then pointed at her. “And if you are going to do it, demanding I forget Clow, then use the correct pronunciation, not my Japanese name! I am _Xiao Lang_!”

There was a sudden burst of green light that rocketed out from him, and both Kero and Yue grunted, shielding themselves from the light as it nearly knocked them out of the safe field. But no sooner had the light passed than Yue looked up, startled.

“Druid!”

“That’s impossible,” Kero whispered furiously. “The kid’s trained in moon magic his whole life – he couldn’t use earth magic of that level, no matter how much of a natural he is!”

“Sakura used Windy without ever recognising what magic was.”

“That’s different – Sakura is Sakura! Special!”

They continued to argue, but Sakura wasn’t even paying attention. She was watching Syaoran, a hand pressed against her heart to calm it. She’d never seen him like this before. Glimpses of it, yes… when he got protective or particularly determined, she could remember thinking he looked cooler than normal. But this… this was like when he would comfort her, or stop her from crying. This was the strong, solid Syaoran that made her feel safe. The one that was so often hidden behind doubt and anger.

She loved Syaoran no matter what he was doing – even when he was falling all over himself, blushing bright red and making no sense whatsoever.

But this Syaoran made her heart flutter like it hadn’t since she was twelve and giggling over Yukito.

“You were wrong, Suyin. I made my decision to stay here, in Japan, for my own reasons. To be where and with the people I wanted,” he snapped. “I accepted the consequences – and when the Li Clan comes for vengeance, I will fight them. But they won’t stop me either.”

Sakura gasped, gripping her wand tightly. “Syaoran… does that mean… you…?”

He smiled at her again, then lifted his head back to Bani. “You should have been more specific in your spell. I have two most important feelings: my love for Sakura, and my honour as the heir to the Li Clan.”

Bani hissed in a breath, stumbling backward. “No…”

“I chose which one I couldn’t give up,” he said. “I chose to stay with Sakura.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said - totally up for adoption or a rewrite, because... ain't been touched in years...

**Author's Note:**

> The 48 are a collection of unfinished fics saved to my hard drive, posted here for people's interest, of if they should wish to adopt them.
> 
> Okay, so... lots of my CCS fics, I think, would work a whole lot better as doujinshi. For some reason, the voices from these characters don't... English well in my head. It would be acceptable in comic form, but in fic, it's pretty horrendous. Only, my art skills suck and my comic skills are worse. So instead we get mediocre fic. Woot.


End file.
